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“This is Laci Peterson and shark attacks and Kobe Bryant put together,” said Martin Kaplan, professor at the University of Southern California’s Annenberg School for Communications. “It’s a miraculous combination of sex and taboos and pop music and plastic surgery.”

Large buttocks are pleasing to me, nor am I able to lie concerning this matter.
For who, colleagues, would not admit,
Whenever a girl comes by with a rather small middle part of the body
Beneath which is an obvious spherical mass, that it inflames the spirits
So that you want to be conspicuous for manly virtue, noticing her breeches
Have been deeply stuffed with buttock?

The future of television is digital. In fact, the FCC has already said that television manufacturers will be required to include digital television (DTV) tuners in their sets after 2007. You may not have heard much about DTV yet, but Hollywood is already there, lobbying the FCC for regulations that will force “content protection” technology into every DTV device, including televisions, PVRs (including digital TiVos), and any computer that touches a DTV signal. more...

The California Golden Bears upset the #3-ranked USC Trojans on Saturday evening before 51,208 fans at Memorial Stadium and a national television audience. The win marks the first time the Bears have defeated a Top 5 nationally-ranked team in more than 28 years.

“I appreciate people’s opinions, but I’m more interested in news,” the president said. “And the best way to get the news is from objective sources, and the most objective sources I have are people on my staff who tell me what’s happening in the world.”

When Oakland resident Katrina Friedman, 31, agreed to join the study, she assumed that her healthy diet, yoga and a clean job at Hot Studio, a small San Francisco design firm, was producing chemical-free milk for her baby daughter, Ruby.

But Friedman had PBDE levels in her milk at 79 parts per billion, higher than the number that triggered a ban of the flame retardants in Europe.

“I love my child more than anything. I want to protect her from broken glass, bullies at school and invisible poisons like this one. But I’m powerless. These chemicals aren’t banned in the United States, and we’re just continuing to add them in the environment,” Friedman said.

There were three yellow Post-its on the fridge. One said: “By myself, with myself.” Another said: “Broke and alone.” And the third said: “Higher purpose?”

On the dining room table was the start of a personal ad she had written in a lined notepad: “Single and ready to experience…”

She stopped before she figured out what she was ready to experience. On the next page, she had written: “Can’t. I’m not willing at this time.”

“The impact of a Yellowstone eruption is terrifying to comprehend,” says Professor McGuire. “Magma would be flung 50 kilometers into the atmosphere. Within a thousand kilometers virtually all life would be killed by falling ash, lava flows, and the sheer explosive force of the eruption. One thousand cubic kilometers of lava would pour out of the volcano, enough to coat the whole of the USA with a layer 5 inches thick. The explosion would be the loudest noise heard by man for 75,000 years.”

1. The San Francisco Chronicle, Thursday, May 30, 1996, the front page of which uncharacteristically sported Herb Caen’s column. This was the day Caen told his readers he was dying.
2. A printout of a job posting on IDG.com, dated 11/10/98, for “Associate Editor, Here’s How Online / PC World, Online Services Group.” In pencil is my shit-I’m-excited scrawl reading 11:00 A.M. FRIDAY. That must’ve been the interview.
3. A $98 credit at Fry’s Electronics, dated June 11, 2001. I was issued this as a result of the Fry’s Low Price Guarantee, but after receiving it, I went through a long period of buying no goodies at Fry’s, and I forgot I had it. Then I remembered I had it, but by then, I didn’t know where it was anymore. Now here it is. It has no expiration date on it. They should accept it, right?
4. The New Yorker, September 24, 2001 issue. Front cover: Black towers on a black background. Two years ago now. Heavens. There is a mailing label on the cover. It lists a place where I no longer reside.

“I don’t think either one of us knows why we split up. It was like, say you’re going to a nightclub one night with your friends and you’re in line and the next thing you know there are guys with helicopters and there’s machine-gun fire and you don’t know what happened. And that’s kind of like what our breakup was like.”

— Billy Bob Thornton

Emergency Alert System
Tune to Channel 20 for Emergency Instructions
Child Abduction Emergency

Geoff Garin, a pollster who is working for Senator Bob Graham of Florida, who is seeking the Democratic nomination, said the Democratic anger toward Mr. Bush was “as strong as anything I’ve experienced in 25 years now of polling,” and perhaps comes closest to the way many Democrats felt about President Richard M. Nixon.

… between all the goings up and the whole of the comings down and the fog of the cloud in which we toil and the cloud of the fog under which we labour, bomb the thing’s to be domb about it so that, beyond indicating the locality, it is felt that one cannot with advantage add a very great deal to the aforegoing by what, such as it is to be, follows … (Finnegans Wake, 599: 29-34)

Can you hear me,
That when it rains and shines
It’s just a state of mind?
Can you hear me?

Surely you can spare a minute to clean your ears? Take a one-minute vacation from the life you are living.

One-minute vacations are unedited recordings of somewhere, somewhen. Sixty seconds of something else. Sixty seconds to be someone else.

“The postwar period in Iraq is messy. We haven’t found what we said we’d find there and there are unpleasant questions about assumptions we made and intelligence we had,” said one senior official, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “If many more months go by and our troops are still there, the Iraqis are still fighting each other and us, and we still haven’t found any WMD, there will be hell to pay.”

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• Sway by Phaser. I saw this in the “new indies” section at Rasputin’s, with an interesting writeup beside it. Bought it on a whim. A little hard to describe — something like a fusion of Radiohead and The Verve. Extremely good stuff.
• Evolve by Ani DiFranco. I have never been an Ani fan, but holy cow am I hooked now. Did you think folk-inspired music was dead? Did you think political music was dead? Wrong, boyo. Check out this disc’s title track. And regarding track four, “Slide”: Where else are you going to find lyrics like “my pussy is a tractor, and this is a tractor pull”? (And where can I find me a girl with that kinda spunk?)

Too many teardrops
For one heart
To be crying

Too many teardrops
For one heart
To carry on

One day, and that day is coming soon, a creative artist will use the weblog world to distribute a musical meme, good music, a catchy tune, and then sell a CD with a high-res scan of the same music, and that will undermine the smelly assholes and their cronies, forever. Say goodbye.

In World War I, which the French fought from start to finish, France lost three times as many fighting men as America has lost in all its wars combined. In World War II, the French armies holding off the Germans in May-June 1940 suffered 124,000 dead and 200,000 wounded in six weeks, more than America did in Korea and Vietnam combined.